Consent is often explained as a simple “yes” or “no” but in reality, it’s more than a one-time answer. Consent is an ongoing, active process that continues throughout any sexual experience.

Understanding what this looks like in practice can help ensure that everyone feels safe, respected, and in control.

Consent Is Ongoing

Consent is not something that is given once and assumed to continue. It should be present at every stage of intimacy.

This means:

• Checking in with your partner as things progress
• Being aware of verbal and non-verbal cues
• Recognising that someone can change their mind at any point

Even if someone has said yes before, that does not mean they are saying yes to everything, or that they will continue to feel the same way.

What Does Clear Consent Look Like?

Clear consent is:

• Freely given, without pressure or influence
• Informed and specific to what is happening
• Enthusiastic and mutual

It can be expressed verbally (e.g. saying “yes”) or through clear, positive body language. The key is that it should feel confident and willing, not uncertain or reluctant.

Silence Is Not Consent

A lack of a “no” does not mean “yes”.

Silence, hesitation, or uncertainty can indicate that someone is not comfortable or not sure. In these situations, it’s important to pause and check in rather than assume consent.

Examples of when to check in:

• If someone goes quiet or stops responding
• If their body language changes or becomes tense
• If they seem unsure or disengaged

Enthusiasm Matters

Consent should feel positive, not pressured.

Enthusiastic consent means that both people are actively interested and engaged. This doesn’t have to be loud or exaggerated, but it should be clear that both people want to be there.

If it feels like someone is going along with something rather than actively choosing it, it’s a sign to stop and talk.

Changing Your Mind Is Always Allowed

Anyone can change their mind at any time, even if:

• They have already said yes
• They are in a relationship
• They have done something before

Respecting consent means respecting a change of mind immediately, without questioning or pressure.

Alcohol, Drugs and Consent

If someone is very intoxicated, they may not be able to give informed consent.

It’s important to:

• Be aware of how alcohol or drugs can affect decision-making
• Avoid assuming consent if someone’s judgement is impaired
• Wait until everyone is fully able to make clear decisions

To Summarise

Consent is not a one-off moment, it is ongoing, active, and mutual.

• Look for clear, willing participation
• Never assume silence means consent
• Check in regularly and be open to stopping
• Respect that anyone can change their mind at any time

Healthy sexual experiences are built on communication, respect, and shared understanding. If you are ever unsure, the best approach is always to pause and ask.

For further advice or support, Suffolk Sexual Health Service is available to provide confidential, non-judgemental guidance.