When we think about sexual health, things like STI testing, contraception and safer sex might be the first things that come to mind. But sexual health is about much more than our physical health.
How we feel about sex, relationships, intimacy and our own bodies matters too.
Emotional and psychological wellbeing are important parts of good sexual health, and looking after them can help us build healthier relationships, communicate more confidently and make choices that feel right for us.
Feeling comfortable and respected
Healthy sexual experiences should involve feeling safe, respected and able to communicate openly.
That means feeling comfortable expressing what you do and don’t want, knowing that your boundaries will be respected and understanding that consent should always be freely given and can be withdrawn at any time.
You should never feel pressured into doing something because you think it is expected of you or because you are worried about disappointing someone else.
Taking time to understand your own boundaries, and respecting those of others, is an important part of looking after your sexual wellbeing.
How do your relationships make you feel?
Relationships and sexual experiences can bring happiness, excitement and connection, but they can also sometimes leave us feeling uncertain, anxious or under pressure.
Checking in with yourself can be useful. Do you feel listened to? Can you talk openly with your partner? Do you feel able to say no or change your mind? Do you feel respected before, during and after sexual experiences?
There isn’t a ‘right’ way to feel about sex or relationships. What matters is recognising how your experiences affect you and knowing that support is available if something doesn’t feel right.
Your relationship with your body matters too
Sexual wellbeing also includes how we feel about ourselves.
Body confidence, self-esteem and expectations around sex can all influence our experiences. Social media, pornography and conversations with friends can sometimes create unrealistic ideas about how our bodies should look, how often people should have sex or what sexual experiences are supposed to be like.
There is no single definition of a ‘normal’ sex life. Everyone has different preferences, experiences, relationships and levels of sexual desire.
Understanding what feels comfortable and healthy for you is more important than comparing yourself with other people.
Talking about sexual wellbeing
It isn’t always easy to talk about sex, particularly when something is worrying us. But asking questions and talking openly can help.
That could mean speaking with a partner about boundaries or contraception, talking to someone you trust about how you’re feeling, or seeking confidential advice from a sexual health professional.
You don’t need to wait until you think something is ‘wrong’ to ask for support.
Looking after the whole you
STI testing, contraception and safer sex remain important parts of looking after your sexual health. But good sexual health isn’t simply about avoiding infections or unintended pregnancy.
It’s also about feeling safe, informed, respected and comfortable in the choices you make.
Taking care of your emotional and psychological wellbeing is part of taking care of your sexual health, because sexual health is about the whole person, not just the physical.
Suffolk Sexual Health Service offers free, confidential information, advice and support to help you make informed choices about your sexual health and wellbeing.
Visit the Suffolk Sexual Health Service website to find out more about our services and how to access support.
