Consent is an important part of every sexual experience. But what does it actually mean and what does the law say? 

At its simplest, sexual consent means agreeing to take part in sexual activity by choice and having the freedom and capacity to make that choice. 

It isn’t just about somebody saying “yes”. Everyone involved should feel comfortable, informed and free to make their own decision. 

What is the age of consent? 

In the UK, the age of consent to sexual activity is 16. 

There are additional protections in law for young people, particularly where someone is in a position of trust. There are also specific laws around sexual images of anyone under 18. 

If you’re unsure about how the law applies to a particular situation, it’s important to get advice from a trusted professional or appropriate support service rather than relying on information from friends or social media. 

Consent needs to be freely given 

Consent isn’t valid if somebody has been pressured, threatened, frightened or forced into sexual activity. 

Someone also needs to have the capacity to make the decision. 

For example, if someone is asleep or unconscious, they cannot consent. Alcohol and drugs can also affect someone’s ability to make and communicate decisions, so you should never assume that someone is able to consent simply because they haven’t said no. 

You can change your mind 

Agreeing to something once doesn’t mean agreeing to it forever. 

You can change your mind at any point, including during sexual activity. Agreeing to one sexual activity doesn’t automatically mean agreeing to another, either. 

The same applies in relationships. Being someone’s boyfriend, girlfriend or partner doesn’t automatically give them consent to sexual activity. 

What does healthy consent look like? 

Consent should be an ongoing conversation. 

Checking in can be as simple as asking: 

“Is this okay?”
“Do you want to keep going?”
“Are you comfortable with this?” 

Pay attention to how the other person responds too. If somebody seems uncomfortable, unsure or changes their mind, stop and check in. 

Sex should never depend on convincing somebody, repeatedly asking until they give in or making them feel guilty for saying no. 

There can be lots to think about before having sex, from contraception and STI protection to how you feel emotionally. 

There’s no rush. Choosing not to have sex is just as valid as choosing to have sex. 

For confidential sexual health information and support, visit Suffolk Sexual Health Service